He died of, not aids, that other one. Cancer? Oh no, it was aids.

This kick drummer is awesome.

I heard this great remix of "My Humps" the other day.

Something must be wrong with my Internet connection: Shareaza comes up with nothing for Pamela Anderson Tommy Lee.

The Calypso: A lot tougher looking from the front.

As after a slight pause, Otranto resumes its ordinary life. Women go to pray, the streets are swept, old people stir to relieve the stiffness in their bodies. No one is surprised to see a familiar figure. Cousteau has been here before.

Otranto and the sea. Like a man and a bad-tempered wife, they have lived together for at least two thousand years.

That was the "grindin' against the chubby chick" remix.

Call me a racist, but you're not a mommy.

I think Frank would not be really relieved until I am able to relieve myself.

Hi Dustin, you suck

This brick wall rulez!

all in all we\'re just another brick in the wall

I\'m just kidding Dustin, you don\'t suck. You kinda rool even.

West SYYYYYYYDE!

Dustin doesn\'t rool

I feel better now.

My name is Jonas.

is that hard?

This one time, my mom kicked me real hard, right in the stomach. I started to laugh, but it hurt real bad.

Tear down da wall!

Then I started to cry. NOT! It was National Orgasm Day, so I was pumped like a bike tire.

Then I had a revelation: if Joan Jett can switch teams, why can\'t I? So I loaded up the truck an\' I moved to Beverly.

Nothing more fucked up than old people after justice.

\"I want to buy the meat of raped women.\" -Nick on filling the house with offensive meat products

I see Dead People....

Moma said Moma said...

skibbity be bop boo office life kicks your ass times four

Napolean I think its time to keep your ruling in check you little powerfull man you.... I take your babys and throw them into the fire so they to may experience the rath of natural selection HAHAHAHAHA!!!

MOM... I accidently swollowed my belly button ring!

I think its time to take a breather all this napalm is killing my lungs

boom

meet me after school at three o\'clock Ima gone RAPE YOU!

you shouldn\'t be married you should be studied

so when you and me gonna fuck

shaped like a menstral tampon, this apparatus can be inserted into the vagina to provide direct measurment of the increased blood flow.

name that instrument

what other kind of tampon is there

Do YOU remember when rock was young?

to approximate the sex act without penetration or divestiture, and typically, without orgasm...what he would call, the dry humps

Neural tube (later known as spinal cord) begins to fuse.

do my balls momma

I\'m going to lose my mind over da borderline

The document you requested was not found. You can perform a search, return to the home page, or explore my juicy love bags.

What, Dad?

Butter up the slippery poop chute...and watch for the fiery gods residing in and of the anus.

chew

I guh be a damn POlice man.

Here\'s the real secret. You don\'t have to pay $25 for the snorting mirror in a headshop.

Go away, cat.

Until it ends, there is no end

Its time mutha fuckuzzzz to do the white knuckle shuffle on the piss pump baby cmon

For a good time, call 202-456-1414.

I gave you my heart and you gave me a pen

Jane Seymour is as slutty as Helen Keller

Actress Nicole Kidman, whose divorce from actor Tom Cruise becomes final this week, says she still \'\'believes completely in love\'\' and refuses to be bitter about the couple\'s highly publicized break-up

Old people can be so sweet!

Isn\'t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

Everywhere in L.A. takes 20 minutes!

Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.

I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 4 peanut butter M&M\'s and like 5 pieces of licorice.

Why should I listen to you, anyway? You\'re a virgin who can\'t drive.

May I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty

\'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people.

He was not in the least bit scared to being mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes carved out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecap split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.

This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let\'s not bicker and argue about who killed who.

Any of you lot put a man in the cupboard?

An elementary knowledge of the Railway Acts would tell you that I\'m perfectly within my rights.

I AM THE PLATE MAN! COO COO KA CHOO!

FIRE!!!

My name is Elliot, and I have never been with a woman I haven\'t violated emotionally. My aim sucks.

Bugs suck...to get at bountiful juices.

Your mouth is your anus.

Fetus, like the first time.

That, that, that. I\'ve had it with your thats.

Tracy closed her eyes gently and her nipples hardened just a little.

Are you watching porno again?

Tracy was obviously in some sort of lesbian sex trance.

My baby takes the fooking train

aesthetically pleasing, in other words flyyyyyyyyyyy

stick THAT in your Jesus pipe and smoke it! 10 commandments my ass

Meet James Ensor, Belgium\'s famous painter. Shake his hand; appreciate the man.

At least when she\'s around the trouble\'s there, It\'s worse to wake up with her falling \'round the room.

SoBeRlY, without regret, I make another sandwich.

DAMN that Pope sho\' has a sweeet cock!

Anyway, for a good time, call me, okay?

Does anybody know Gray Davis\' phone number? He owes me $20 and a hand job.

4am? No. No Fuckin\' way.

Neil Jacobstein from teknowledge sucks.

IF JESUS SAVES, WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS ASKING FOR MONEY?

THAT IS FUNNY AS HELL!

BUT, HOW FUNNY IS HELL?

In just 12 more years, I\'ll morph back into a girl again. I\'ll buy feminine flip flops and pee like Betsy Ross.

what is..... just is

I saw BNL and Dustin and Bri Didn\'t. Put that in your \"Not asking me to come to Mass. with you\" pipe and smoke it. Bitter? Who\'s Bitter?

If you can\'t Sea Bass every night, you can\'t Sea Bass at all!

I have a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

\"George Michael is a prophet.\" -Bob

The Pope\'s last speech: \"You know, finger finger, lick lick!?!?!\"

You can do the president. I\'d rather do the Pope.

My balls itch.

Plate man lives!

Well shiver me pickles.

Pixie sticks are the hardest to come off of.

\"Mobile homosexual.\" \"Homownersexual.\"

Wednesday nights, pencil me in.

Who\'s Betsy Ross? I mean Betty Page.

Mary wants a hundred baseball caps with \"love\" stiched on the bill. But she can\'t have them.

Sperms have proteins and I need those proteins.

Wamby!

Dorego has a pink thong. It\'s manly.

OHH RAH! I\'m the cherry on top, lick me while I\'m hot!

Stroboscopic awareness. Ain\'t it a bitch?

My head is spinning and I don\'t remember what day it is.

I feel like I should like dogs. But I just don\'t.

Of course I have more than three stainless steel knives near my computer!

i remember when they raised the price of a bag of chips to a quarter. ever since. ever since.

Tiny phallus forms which could be penis or clitoris; perineum formed. You might want to investigate.

You can have it all.

Whoever scores the maximum points can park their anchor.

Sir, you cannot possibly drive a car and read the newspaper at the same time.

I think the ovary in my leg just popped.

NOBODY puts Baby in a playpen!

NO! Chester is not happy to see you. It IS in fact a pistol in his pocket.

\"bitch bitch bitch.... lick lick lick!\" -Kevin and Wendy

Why does it smell like Old Spice at Teknowledge today?

Show me your tits, you bastard!

My wife, who does not work, will drink.

There\'s a big problem. It starts with \"C\" and ends with Jesus.

Only God could kill so many.

My sister-panda took a yellow dress in the ass -- it had balls! Robert put a waffle in his pocket just in case. A Toyko Toosie Pop looks like a poo! Shoo on you, you krikey wafflehed elephantitis-of-the-nuts suffering, is the only way to get it up.

NO, PEG-ARMED FRIED EGG!!!

Eew, that looks like Pubic Hair Fried Egg.

All this screaming is making me hoarse. Someone needs to make a deposit to our joint throating account.

Eggs eat cheese.

Without Conan, our hockey team could have never defeated Russia.

I really only work on Halloween.

She once was nude and now she\'s dead

You won\'t have any hot dog buns in your bedroom tonight!!

the JPEG has night vision you can\'t see him, but he can see you!

A jpeg\'s work is never done.

Don\'t be intimidated by porky ways

the duck-billed platypus has the soul of a badger

These people that have jobs and stuff, they get to have sex all the time. At least that\'s what it seems like.

They gave me the old one-two punch. You know, they raised the rent and took away the dick.

You don\'t jump on the stove. You could get cooked.

Hand me my nosering.

If we forget, we are really stupid.

What is it about lately?

Everybody has an Uncle Jimmy. Well, not me. Not you either. Everybody but us.

What if Rod Stewart threw up in your lap and you got pregnant?

I\'m a funny cute guy who\'s good with his hands. And my wife\'s ashes are in my testicles.

Seeing-eye nipples

Water freezes rice crispies under my skin. So what?

Have a nice fall, Pursey! See ya in the spring!

contamination between poetry and music

discharge: mp3

It\'s not like a cat to dislike chili sauce.

Sir Pukes-a-Lot was just trying to live up to his name.

I love it when spoon is a verb.

Do you really get an email everytime something is written?

I love it when Pork is a verb.

\"Where in heaven\'s name did you FIND these people?\" -the producers of Trading Spaces, about the Boonestache crew

I began to question my sexuality while masterbating with my thumb deeeeeep as fuck in my ass

My neck hurts

Let\'s say that if you were sitting in your cube with your back to the entrance and there was a table with a knife on it there wouldn\'e be enough knives.

You bring the generator, I\'ll bring the sweet lovin\'!

You bring the generator, I\'ll bring the sweet lovin\'!

I enjoy a good fuck on a piece of raw pork

I\'m gonna be on TV, so you better lock up the jail.

I\'m gonna scratch that head right offa my body

Let\'s drink till our hearts stop.

\"Ain\'t nobody eatin\' the part that went over the fence last in MY HOUSE!\"- holidays with the millers

800 mg Motrin = a gold bullet

Staph, pneumonia, and E. coli = the hat trick

Those with penises hear God through pussy.

You blame Larry for everything.

That is Likkie Rake, right?

This right here is the gateway to paradise.

I\'d lick my mother\'s asshole for a million dollars.

How, my name is Krissy Snow, but on the Reservation, they call me \'Melted Clown.\'

Hi, Melted Clown. I\'m Candy Boob Fish Forest.

Young, dumb, and full of Jesus\' cum.

White boy versus white board. White board wins.

Is someone having a dual-processor phone call?

smelly, warm monkey holes

the gnomes had a very mellow New Year\'s Eve at home in my vagina

Fish shouldn\'t smell. Unless they just ate a dump truck, farted, and then died.

And crawled under the Dumbarton Bridge.

\"There are certain rear ends I prefer not ot place my lips on. Not the least of which is my ex-wife\'s.\"- overheard in accounting

Hey baby, we are like magnets with private parts.

Estas galletas si son buenas!

When the TITANIC underwear goes down, it\'s a good thing!

Oh my god! She smoked herself into a cat!

Yeah, whatever bluetooth!

Five women in a bathroom falling all over each other... WHY WOULDN\'T I WANT TO GO IN????

My name is Louis DonLouigi. Kiss my toe ring.

Our teapot has asthma. That\'s why it always has premature boiljactulation.

Then there\'s this backlog of natural people stuff.

Sitting in the Menstrual hut is not as fun as sitting in the Oral Sex hut.

How does Paper Airplane Geisha do her make-up?

WB, or else!

Is your name not Dick-O, Junior? Whip it out, son, or you\'re no son of mine!

Uh-oh, Khyati\'s wearing her genes on the top again today.

Yummy! these cookies are so good :)

I can wear my underwear over my head. Even though it\'s a little wet.

Your cat must be hella good at Uno, man.

Hank\'s wife is Xeroxing her ass in the copy room.

ACCOUNTING NEEDS TO LEARN TO FUCKIN\' WHISPER IF THEY\'RE GONNA TALK SHIT. FUCK ACCOUNTING.

Coffee: Some like it hot, like a love fire.

I\'m at my end\'s width.

Sometimes to get to the top you have to nosekiss.

She had all her eggs in one butt.

Can I hold a big penis in my other hand?

Don\'t put the bong on the silk.

This is my \"come-fuck-me-color\". I don\'t use it very much.

Roll down your window and enjoy the climate, dumbass!

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw in paper \"Wanted for

You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation.

The love birds that do not love. They are only birds.

Drop some anchors tonite.

I noticed that she doesn\'t have any beaver type hair around that one area.

I have a hole in my heart the shape of Mr. Bawkbagawk.

I\'m trying to get the clit to be perfect.

Sexually, we are plu-tonic

The rich fertile taste of Ovumtine!

That clown is hung like a Coke can.

Remember in the 80\'s how we taped our eyelashes shut?

What was that perfume called, with the bottle shaped like an exclamation point?

Joop??

Jonathan <3 Tiffany forevah.

What\'s everyone got against the mahogany crayon, anyway?

My dick is Luprecated!

If beer could drive, it would spend the rest of its life in jail.

Vodka vs. Beer: Vodka wins.

Did you guys see the Fintston\'s?

and on the eighth day god created the platypus... let\'s see darwin explain THAT one

God: You know, Son, there\'s a chance they might always take the allegory at face value. Jesus: Dad, they\'re djumb, but they\'re not that dumb...

Prince Beef is your muse.

PinOak has balls bigger than my head.

Vodka would drive beer right off the road.

She was born with Prada hooves.

My inner four-year-old is very horny.

What would Ham Salad do? (WWHSD?)

Cheech\'s license plate: MUFF DRIVER

Fast booty forever!

Is that a Ford Mufftang?

I tried to order some TSS squares but I got denied can you hook me up

Yeah, I got low-jacked by deez nuts.

Does anyone know when Watermelon In Heat is playing the Bistro again?

Word is bond.

In your future, you may wish to consider turning left. At least consider it. No, the other left.

David Copperfield knows everything.

Silly TV, why you show our lives?

Elbow pains, elbow sucks.

Who loves to cry except Meg Ryan?

My balls got 5 o'clock shadow on your face!

I want to peanut butter your cookie.

The experiment was limited by ethical protocols to five hours, after which the surviving rats were euthanized.

You got to have sex with her, I had to sleep with her.

Oops. Brain scrambled. Please press reset button.

Guess who write this year's annual report??? Neil did! Neil write it!

I'm riding the Crow Muff train all the way to Famousville.

Don't get between Timber's tongue and his dick.

Saliva & Dick

There's a 4th of July coming up -Dustin When? -Bri

He swallowed his own sword and then he spit it out in the cat water.

I DO love you. In a parent-teacher kind of way.

Then it ends in a point.

Yem yo, yet another yo, yen.

We're like sisters... SEXY sisters!

We are atheists, hear us piss on the cross.

Hey, let's go trip off the baby.

It's not so much a button as a lever.

He dumped me yesterday... and fucked me right afterwards.

Does the chachi rule the costa or does the costa rule the chachi?

Are you wearing stripper perfume?

Hell no! I'm takin' ya'll to small claimz court!

I don't see no po-leeze! Let's do it!

Yeah, I think it's the Bounce molecules that are fucking me up.

2000 just for 5000 with 20,000

Do not be afraid of challenges; embrace them because they are the spice of life.

The pearl is in the river.

I heard this great re-mix of Who Let The DOgs Out the other day.

...acting against time and thus on time, for the sake of a time one hopes will come? - Nietzsche

suuuu-uuuuuuuuck!

I'm so tired of my paint and my paintbrushes. I'd like to trade them in for some canvases.

Jesus was the first clown. All those magic tricks, the giant cross-shaped stilt...

"LITHSZ!"

What's a computer?

Love is a joke with no punchline.

Just because I don't CARE doesn't mean I don't UNDERSTAND

You're not a psycho. You're just pathologically high-spirited.

Last night I watched that movie, "Blast Off the Mommyfaces."

Aw, nigga! We coulda made ducklette chip cookies!

There's an embargo on Moon's ass.

How come my dick is sitting here all unsucked??

I want to have New Jersey sex.

The space between how you feel about something and what you do about it, is the space where all human misery lies.

She was a smoker, and a toker, and a midnight choker of the chicken.

When Don Johnson died, all the blood drained from my heart. And then a bee drank it.

Did the Wicked Witch come outside yet?

I'm going to get Salmonella just looking at him.

It's so hard working for the man. That's why I'm going to work for the woman.

It's not hard working for the boy either.

Not no church tongue.

Open your mouth, close your eyes and your will get a medium sized fleshy suprise.

Rodless Stewart

Ain't that phenol a bitch?

My light of education related to Windows and its start-ups are brightened by new bulbs.

It's sickening but it also gives you hope.

I eat people juice

Two, four, six, eight! We think the Ganges is great!

Three, five, seven, nine! Everything here is not fine!

Dear men: We do not masturbate in the shower. Love, women

Dear women: You're missing out. Love, men

He doesn't even need glasses, he just poops on them.

America's Funniest Cunnilingus

My grandmother speaks in tongues. My grandmother doesn't believe in tongues.

Chicken fried communion wafers- "Do you accept the chicken fried body of god?"

God forbid you should consume wine in the south.

I think I burned out my cannonoids.

It's okay. It's better when you're not eating Fruity Pebbles.

Do it till you see porkbuns.

Aw, hell no! I am not havin' no president named Jeb.

Ladies and Gentlemen... the president of the United States, Mr. Cookie Head Jenkins.

Yep, I've felt this before, and it's definitely love. Or maybe chicken.

A computer wrote this, so computers are not good poets:

your eyes like madness stirring every chance in my bones and a woman's undone wrong Defies the gentle gold breeze

The sun cannot nothing to what's already born That once loved an ember

I will miss my lavendar-loving friend.

The only consistent thing in all your unsatisfying relationships is you.

The last time I massaged Meatmaw, she sliced my fucking hand off.

"It makes no sense that a God who, for all human understanding, can appear indifferent to major pain and suffering on a large scale or the illness of a child, would intercede to help get a first down." -Bob Costas

Grossy Ringwald

Vibrating internet boyfriend

She's so religious in the sack!

I'm sweating so much my thighs are rubbing together.

This Nana lives for MGD

Instruct me in the ways of cassettes o wise one.

As a fake developer, developed and maintained fake hotel management software for a fake hotel.

He just needs to learn.

8 tracks - we must have the 8 tracks!

Nothing my my butt smells that bad.

I can't count how many times I bought that for $50.

You musn't kill time; poke a hole in it and fuck its brains out.

There's something to be said for a couple of girls on a dark night, driving a long windy road, ....and don't forget the troll.

George Michael's last words: "I'm half the illegitimate love child of all of you!!"

You ain't suckin' the pants off this here limousine drivin' lifestyle I lead, yo.

Bright visions of illuminated impersonations of Shelley Long were projected onto textured, poisonous dog raincoats.

Once you go Mac, you never go back!

Hamster Spermatid

I only fake orgasms with myself. I'm really gullible.

Apparently, coke is the drug of choice among coke addicts.

Has anyone seen Thundercleese's thipple?

Put on those airs and act real cool, but you've got to realize that you're acting like fools.

Word up.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Let's make the most of this bottomless pit.

Hell hath no fury like a hippo with a machine gun.

Hell hath no fury like ANYONE with a machine gun.

I have a lot of DNA in my pubes.

Teeth rot; pubes don't.

What kind of reproductive organs do hobbits have anyway?

I'm sure glad we don't live in a dog eat dog shit world.

Beverly Cleary can't help you now.

Would you like to super-size your cardio-electric shock?

Sometimes love DOES feel like it should!

A little less morphine, a little more euthanasia.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't go to the bathroom.

Hi. We're stupid.

Why don't black people like Garth Brooks?

Cause he sucks.

How do you get a witch pregnant?

You fuck-em'

Mother! Make the Christians Stop!

She eats things that we pull out of her butt all the time.